WHERE THE HECK
SHOULD WE
LIVE?
Three humans. One dog. Approximately one million opinions about New York.
We need your extremely biased, completely unqualified, and genuinely useful neighborhood intelligence. Tell us what you love, what drives you nuts, and whether we'd survive living next door.
* No names or addresses requested. Neighborhood and answers can still reveal clues about you. You choose what is shown publicly.
UNOFFICIAL
NYC GUIDE ↗
IMPORTANT
RESEARCH★
(NOT REALLY)
THIS IS HOW
WE INVESTIGATE.
Three simple steps. One questionable housing decision.
GO UNDERCOVER.
Claim your one-of-a-kind emoji identity. No real name. No address. No awkward follow-up emails.
SPILL THE BEANS.
Give us the real story on your neighborhood. The good, the bad, the commute.
JOIN THE MAP.
Get your 10-word informant profile and take your place on our live neighborhood map.
MEET THE SUSPECTS.
Before you recommend a neighborhood, get to know the four people who may or may not be moving there.
ALL PROFILES ARE PRELIMINARY. SOME FACTS ARE EXAGGERATED FOR COMEDIC EFFECT.
KNOW A PLACE
WE SHOULD KNOW?
Your five minutes could change where we live. Which is a deeply alarming amount of responsibility to give an anonymous emoji.
THE EVIDENCE.
Every emoji represents one local expert on the place they call home. Click around. Judge responsibly.
Personal feelings about neighborhood safety are not verified crime statistics. This map uses approximate neighborhood centers.
YOUR TESTIMONY
IS ON FILE.
AGENT 🦖 / ASTORIA
"Commute survivor. Loves the food. Distrusts the upstairs neighbor."
Your local demo answers are saved in this browser only. You can withdraw above.